So, as I stated on my Instagram, I ran into a few obstacles the last couple of months and had to pull some of the irons out of the fire. My Amber Marie Writes platform was one of them. If you follow my personal blog at all, you already know some of this, but I’d like to tell you all about it anyway.
So, 2020 has been a rough year for everyone, I don’t want to minimize that at all. Back in March, I lost my dad after a long health battle. We knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. The day after he died, the entire state of Michigan shut down so it took months to be able to do anything. My brother and I made the best of a bad situation and did what we could during the pandemic. We kept our families safe and we grieved as best we could while we both continued to work. It eventually started to be easier to breathe and as we were able to get things done, it helped with at least part of the grieving process but it really threw us for a loop. Losing a parent is always hard, and the hoops we were required to jump through made it worse.
We started to get better, and we started to move on, but we still hadn’t had a funeral so we just kept going. Then things started to get bad again, the covid number started to go up again. We lost a Great Aunt who I was very close to in the beginning of October and that threw me for a loop. I was gone about a week and then the unthinkable happened. My mom, also fighting long term health problems, died. It was a shock and it derailed the steps I was taking to get back to do what I was doing and running this multi-platform platform. I spent most of the next couple of weeks consoling my sisters and trying to figure out how to breathe.
Did I mention that we had finally been given the go ahead to do my Dad’s funeral? So after seven months, we were going to finally get the closure on that. So, there was a lot going on emotionally and I went to bed emotionally and mentally drained. It didn’t help that there was a heaping pile of guilt on top of everything, because even though I’d lost two parents, my biological parents were still alive. That made me feel a little guilty, even though there was no guilt to be had. A week after my Mom died, my aunt died just as suddenly. That was three deaths in three weeks while also planning a funeral. Saying it was rough was an understatement.
The first weekend of November, I had my Dad’s funeral on Friday, and my Mom’s memorial on Saturday. Sunday, I tried to just exist. Then came the part where I tried to put the pieces back together and figure out how to live again. The days were getting shorter. The kids were home from school, we had to quarantine, because we came in contact with a family member with Covid. It was a lot to get used to. Eventually, thanks to my therapist and my family, I was able to find balance again.
Some days are still a struggle, but I went back to school, I sent my book off to my editor, and my kids from California will be here in about twelve days. There is Christmas to decorate for, and school work to do. Life, as they say, goes on. It’s certainly a different world than I started the year in, but I think I can figure it out. I think I can learn to live in this new reality, what choice do I have? So bear with me as we get back on track here, cause I promise, there is good stuff coming down the pipeline.
Goddess knows after a year like this, we deserve it. Stay safe everyone. Happy Holidays.